We’re both 40.
With a 2-year old.
So, obviously, every night ends around 9:17pm and it’s all thanks to the soothing sounds of Keith Morrison narrating another horrific and unthinkable murder… of a beauty queen wife… in a quiet Midwestern town.
There’s nothing more relaxing than the audio vibrations of someone else’s tragedy, especially when you already know her husband did it because he was having an affair with his best friends’ cousins’ 23-year old daughter.
You’ll probably find our sleep routine unsurprising because who doesn’t fall asleep to murder? But here’s something that might surprise you:
Las Vegas, Nevada.
For six weeks.
While you catch your breath and wonder if we’re going through a midlife crisis (we aren’t, but Roxy might be), let me take a step back and give you a little bit of insight into just how difficult it’s been to narrow down potential destinations:
Me: Scottsdale, no brainer, right?
Sara: But it’s SO hot in Arizona!
Me: What about somewhere like Dallas?
Sara: But it’s SO flat in Texas!
Me: Maybe Colorado Springs, or even Boise?
Sara: But it’s SO freezing there!
Me: How about somewhere on earth?
Sara: But it’s SO traditional to live on earth!
Alright, so that last one was a stretch, but before you think Sara is being ridiculous, you should know that I couldn’t possibly agree with her more. Southern California sets an unfair and unrealistic expectation for the rest of the country.
If we’re embarking on a journey to discover a more affordable, politically-balanced, traffic-free, under-populated oasis that has towering mountains, pristine coastlines, optimal weather and friendly people, then we better start building a time machine so we can head back to San Diego in 1977.
If this was an episode of Dark, we’d obviously do exactly that. But even in that scenario, we would have already done it, so I’d need to go back again to ensure I went back, just in case I didn’t go back the first time, but not me, an alternate version of me, that’s also my Dad.
(1% of you will get that last paragraph. The rest of you can just pretend it never happened.)
What I’m really trying to say is that our first enormous hurdle on this adventure has been learning how to stop using the top 5% of things we love about Southern California as the barometer by which everywhere (and everything) else is measured.
Yes, 58 degrees is considered warm in many places.
Yes, some people call Açaí bowls Uhki bowls because they don’t know any better.
Yes, Macaroni Grill has 4 ½ stars on Yelp in some cities.
All of that madness aside, the key to finding true contentment where you live is learning how to recognize and prioritize what brings you the most joy. We have to stop searching every city for the all things we already have in Southern California.
And start searching for all the things we don’t.
Let’s see what you got, Vegas… 👊